Everything is taken so personally these days especially when you’re just expressing your subjective thoughts and feelings from a genuine place. It has become a norm in the world today for people to naturally expect everyone to walk on eggshells around them. They attribute every reaction to mental health and say things like “you don’t know what a person is going through” to shut people up. Things like this is why many people are depressed and also why suicide rate is high.
People would say when you are with someone regardless of who they are to you, do not talk about certain things like weight loss or weight gain, work status etc. I personally think that when you have a relationship with someone, you should be able to talk about certain things without them reading unnecessary meaning to it.
If you are friends with someone and you have not seen them in a while and you notice any change or something unusual about them, you should be able to tell them without them feeling uncomfortable or offended because you are merely stating the obvious. The idea of having to tiptoe around people’s triggers has done more harm than good to people as it encourages them to bottle up their emotions and battles.
Growing up, this was not a common practice. Everyone was expressive and vocal about these things and we were much healthier and happier than we are today. We had more support systems because we were comfortable with having typical conversations. If we’re not for each other then we’re just not for each other and we do not have to walk on eggshells. We might as well just walk away and not have a relationship.
Maryam Shehu 
18 responses to “Triggers and Reactions”
I believe as the world evolves new dictions are created to support certain characters which normally are not suppose to exist. As our parents will say “It was not this way in our time” Obviously it is now in this time, sadly. I do not think anyone should take body shaming as an insult, the world needs to preach more about accepting women and men the way they are. Thank you for sharing Maryam .
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Good point Rosemary. Oftentimes it’s not body shaming, it’s a harmless comment . It becomes body shaming when you say demeaning things about a person’s appearance or when you make a joke about it. But nowadays everything gets termed as body shaming and people pick offense at every thing that is said. I wish that people would breathe and not be overly sensitive. Also, have a clear mind to be able to tell when a person is being malicious and when a person is being concerned.
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From my perception I think constant communication and cooperation can help erase the ideology that everyone has to be treated with caution or with awareness that they could be emotionally vulnerable,communication serve as the bridge to relate with people of all kind ,There are certain things you cannot say to a person you’re just meeting, why?
Because you have not gotten to understand each other and they could perceive your motive to be wrong,but if you engage in conversations with them often there would be deeper understanding .
The fact is that everyone has different level of understanding so they easily misinterpret motives .therefore,they need to know you too well not to find your comments offensive .
I think it’s wrong to begin to address a close friend you are just meeting after a longtime in a manner in which he/she would perceive to be diminishing because within that period of time that they’re away ,a lot might have changed.
in conclusion, everything is built on communication. Thank you
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I agree. You need to be close to a person to be able to have certain conversations. However, people tend to be defensive these days and take things too personally. It’d be nice to let loose and not be overly sensitive.
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I agree with you. Too many people are way too easy to take offense when none is intended. And if you don’t hold the same political opinions, you can’t even have a conversation with some people on the subject. Plus, they may think you an awful person since your beliefs don’t align with theirs.
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Spot on Kat. I couldn’t have summarized it better.
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True, but I will say they’re not all to be blamed because most people who behave like that were one’s free and open until they fell victim somehow and became too sensitive with the way people relate with them and then create means of deterrence , although some people are naturally like that so I’m not justify that.
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I had a close friend that took these comments personally, that I needed to walk on eggshells around her because I don’t know what would piss her off. I don’t really think it’s about our comments, I think it’s more about their self esteem. And I reason with them sometimes because we really don’t know the cause of the change in appearance. It could be because of something sensitive that they don’t want to, or are not ready talk about.
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Absolutely. Self esteem plays a big role and knowing that people can see the things that they are insecure about can trigger certain reactions.
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Beautifully written! I think adjustment and understanding is very important at any relationship well shared 💐
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Spot on Priti. Thank you 😊
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💐
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Hmmm…I think it’s about tone. The other side of this is, “They know how I am” and sometimes who people are is a problem. People are either oversensitive or insensitive. Decorum does matter and one can’t be flippant in their use of words.
I remember telling someone at work, You sure love that vending machine. She was overweight but my issue was her not pulling her load of the work. I was at my tipping point but I didn’t want her thinking it was her weight I was referencing. I am concerned about my effect on other people because no one better come at me willy nilly.
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Very well said 😊
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Wow. A very though provoking blog post Mary. I enjoyed reading this title “Reactions and Triggers” because it is quite relatable to real life.
I as well have seen how this century has changed. People easily make assumptions about someone on social media for example without getting the facts ironed out and straight. I believe there are people who will support you when you have done something wrong because we learn from mistakes but sadly the support system of people is in the Minority 😭🙏
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Sad reality for many of us, that is why we need to make a change to create the world we want to live in.
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I think it boils down to how the digitised world has made us loose touch with human connection…people don’t open up, and others walk on eggshells for a purpose of not offending the other. Ww are living in a world where we don’t trust each other.
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Absolutely agree, I could not have explained it better.
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